Planning

2019 Whatcha Got for Me?

Trigger Warning: This is some of my truth about grief

What will 2019 hold for me?

2018 was challenging for sure. Some could say I would have every right to be in a state of depression, anger or shock after losing so much last year. It would be easy to fall into that. It might make sense to other people, who project their own assumptions on me, to see me as struggling, “of course she’s struggling, she just lost her life partner, her dad died this year and her mom – just a year ago. No wonder she’s a mess”. I don’t know anyone who will admit to feeling or thinking that about me, but I know if I were looking at me, I might be inclined think that.

But what if I don’t struggle? What if I could process this as just another step in my life and there is still so much living to do? What purpose would despair ultimately serve? I have this strong belief that the universe gives you back whatever you put out to it. So I choose to keep moving, to grow with every experience and find the beauty in the aftermath.

Grief: The Lonely Bitch

Here’s the thing though, grief is a lonely and solitary process. You can’t possibly know what I have actually been through these last few years, I barely know. I couldn’t possibly know what someone else who has experienced a loss, has gone through. It is all so personal and no two losses are the same. I have sad moments, they are usually in the evening and overnight while I dream and I am terrified of being stuck in those moments. Then they pass and time does its thing. The pause button will not work, not even for grief.

Over the last few years, chaos kept coming at me and I had no time to process the last blow before the next one came. But in that chaos I was forced to keep moving, to keep being there for my family. Living with someone who is critically ill and in chronic pain is no joy ride. Watching your loved one deteriorate and desperately want to be better and be here to find the beauty of life in spite of his failing body is it’s own special kind of torture.

Losing a parent to Alzheimer’s is a totally different kind of torture, they leave one small piece at a time, leaving you with hope for recovery when you see glimpses of their old selves and you wonder if you got it wrong, if you made the wrong choices for their care. But then they are gone again.

How am I Doing?

I get asked daily how I am doing with everything. It’s such a huge question. I’m never sure exactly how to answer it. Everything? Really? How do I even begin to unpack that? Often this question is sent by text, or when I meet someone in the grocery store.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the acknowledgement, and I can see that they just want to show me they care. But I am in the middle of trying to get my veggies, I am not really up for a heart to heart in the aisle and my grief is really just below the surface, so if you could please just smile and nod, I might actually get through shopping without crying. Instead of asking ‘how are you?’ maybe you could just invite me to dinner so we can have a real conversation. Maybe I’m a little tired or maybe I’ve now realized that I want deeper relationships with people. I would much rather have more open and frank conversations. Just not in the grocery store.

I’m not going to lie, there are moments for me that make me feel overwhelmed, confused and lost. There are so many questions, so many times I wish for a do-over, to see if I could alter the outcome. I know in my heart though, that all three of my recent losses were not preventable, that their suffering is now ended and their deaths were inevitable.

How Do I See the Light?

The thing is, the last five years of my life have challenged and prepared me in ways I didn’t see coming. They have taken an emotional toll on me but also pushed me to be strong. To weather the storm and see the beauty in spite of the suffering. I am determined to accept this grief as it comes, with all the mess of sadness, despair, relief, opportunity and liberation that comes with it.

I am processing my losses, but really, my privilege would be showing if I looked at these moments as the worst possible thing that could have happened. They are significant, no doubt and I am grieving, but my amazing life carries on.

I live in an awesome community with a strong group of women who have been in my life since my kids were born, they check in daily. I live in a home that I built with my partner. It has electricity, water, heat and I have food in the fridge. I own 2 cars, I have a studio I get to do my art in. I’m sitting here writing a blog post about my year, in the comfort of my peaceful home, nestled in the woods on an iMac. I know there are people with much less in their lives, more trauma and more pain. I know I have a privileged life and I am grateful for it.

My kids are awesome people. They are here for me too. They miss him of course, but they are also looking at the person their father was and they want what he had. He was so giving and loving, they want to use that as a compass for their own lives. He lived his best life, they want to do that too. I couldn’t ask for more.

The other thing I keep in mind is that I had an extremely successful year in my art business. I had a piece receive a significant award in an international quilt show. I had several successful art shows and was selected as an instructor for The CQA/ACC National Conference in June 2019. Also, I moved into a new studio space that is so inspiring, with a multitude of ideas for the coming year.

What’s Next?

The truth is, I have no idea what is next right now. I am taking time to live in this moment. To connect with my family, my art, my writing, I’ll see where it all goes.

Over the last few years, I have fit my dreams into the corners of other people’s schedules and care needs. I have been a primary caregiver for a very long time, starting with my kids in 1996. Five years ago it became a full-time job for the 3 closest people to me; my partner, my mother and my father, along with having a full-time job to keep our lifestyle financially intact. In the blink of an eye, they are all gone. Not only is their suffering over in an instant, but in many ways so is mine. My kids are now grown, the world is now my oyster.

I need time to sit with this new reality and I plan to do great things. To live my best life, I have the privilege to explore that for a while. I am now at liberty to live my life in any way I want. It’s amazing and terrifying all at once.

Thank you to my parents and my partner for bringing me to this moment in my life.

A Year in the Life of Fibre Artist Bridget O’Flaherty

Living with Family Illness and Coping with Stress

The Good the Bad and the Ugly

A Year in the Life of a Fibre Artist? I’ve been drafting and re-writing this post for a few weeks now. I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to share or what you would want to read. Should I give you another summary of a year’s successes? A list of my wins? My promises for the next year? I decided to share some of my wins, but also some of my challenges. Everyone has disappointments, bumps in the road and challenges and when we just see all the fabulous parts, it can be hard on those that have had tough times.[hr]

The Good

To sum up, the successes I’ve had over the last year have been many! I’ve been creating and designing, planning and networking, building an inventory and exploring new product ideas.

One of the most exciting parts of the year was launching my website and engaging in social media. I have been amazed at the outpouring of support that I have received for my work. Thank you, most sincerely for encouraging me to continue.

[hr]

[quote style=”boxed”]I get to wake up every morning with the opportunity to work with fabric, inspiring nature, planning projects, interacting with students, clients, shop owners and other industry professionals. Thank you for that. I LOVE my job![/quote] [hr]

The Not So Great Parts of my Year

My life as an artist is really no different from anyone else’s. I have a home to maintain, support my kids in their lives, support my ageing parents and my husband. Where it may differ is in the details of those, my husband and partner of 26 years is seriously chronically ill, my mother had Alzheimer’s( she recently passed away, I shared a tribute to her that you can read) and my father is critically ill as well. So I’ve had a full share of trials for the past few years, this last year was particularly tough. But they also lead me to one of my greatest decisions.[hr]

I have a Unique Situation

But not exclusive. I sometimes feel very alone with my situation, but I know there are other people out there with struggles that likely even trump mine. Navigating a serious illness with the notion that every day could have a hospital visit, is exhausting. My partner, Aaron has had an undiagnosed illness for over 30 years. It has been investigated in every possible way. We’ve even seen specialists at NIH in Maryland with state of the art genetic testing and the Undiagnosed Diseases Program. We have stopped looking. They (and I mean medical community and alternative practitioners) have no clue. Really, they don’t. That’s ok!

Sometimes not having an answer is the best gift. We have learned to live with it and treat every day as a new opportunity to get more out of our lives. Not knowing what comes next is terrifying sometimes, but it also allows us to assume one day more. We really live one day at a time and it affords us a lot of hope for another one.[hr]

How Does His Illness Affect my Work?

I am lucky in that my partner has good days and bad days, he is not bedridden and he still loves to work at keeping our house going too. He supports me fully in my decision to pursue my art as a business, I couldn’t do it without him. He’s really one of the most inspiring people I know. He experiences daily pain and suffering and yet he literally has a smile on his face every day. [hr]

Crossroads

I reached a point last year where I could no longer manage my own stresses. On top of my partner, my mother had Alzheimer’s and became wheelchair bound early in the year. My father was in the hospital, in and out of ICU for 6 months. That was a year of constant hospital visits. By March I was tapped out. I had reached the “WTF is the point” stage of dealing with illness, death, pain, and suffering.

I realized that any of this could happen to me, anytime. If I didn’t take my opportunity to pursue what I wanted, maybe I would miss my chance. I missed creating, I needed to get back to my art. So after helping my father transition to Long Term Care, I decided to take a break. I took about 3 months to figure myself out and figure out how I could possibly support my family with my art. [hr]

Rejection, Recognition and Resolutions

The year had ups and downs with my art as well. I submitted applications to a few shows with some older work and applied to teach as well. They were rejected, I now know I wasn’t ready for that part of the business. I wrote about the benefits of rejection in an earlier post.

That same month, I received notice that I was the recipient of the MERA Award of Excellence for Artists in my community. It was perfect timing and really validated my decision to follow my heart and my art. I also was accepted into a Small Business Program for Start-Ups. I worked with professionals and learned how to approach my art as a business.

This last year has had it’s ups and downs for me. Like everyone else, I have to take the bad with the good. I’ve worked hard this year and I am feeling ultimately very successful. Even with my bumps for the year, I am incredibly grateful that I get to practice my art. I am looking forward to the adventures that lie ahead for the coming year. I’m excited to connect with you, share with you and continue to explore the amazing world of fibre arts. My resolutions are to execute this year, to make my business strong, to stay true to my art by inspiring others to engage and be available to my family.[hr]

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What was that judge thinking?

Scoping out how a judge determines the top quilt at a show.

When we speak of inspiration, we don’t often think of attending lectures and professional development. It really it is so great for getting the creative juices flowing for a business. I decided I would do some direct professional development at the latest Canada Quilter’s Association Conference. I took a workshop called “What was that Judge Thinking?” with Joyce Brown and Judy Villett. It’s the first of a series for the Quilt Judge Certification Programme. The program trains judges and jurors in the profession of assessing and critiquing quilts and fibre art within the context of a competition. The instructors have been in the biz for over 30 years and brought with them a wealth of knowledge to impart on an eager group.

After listening, participating and networking, I’m not sure if I will go through the whole program, but it was certainly helpful and food for thought for the future. The whole process of entering, hosting, coordinating and judging a quilt show were covered in the day.

How Hard is it to Judge?

The hardest part of being a judge seems to be taking into account the design elements of a piece as well as the technical details. You really need a solid background in design and and clear understanding of colour theory. Without these basics in understanding design, it doesn’t seem possible to critique a work without bringing in your opinion. The next step is the technical side, pouring over a piece, looking for the workmanship and fine details to set a work apart. Then you have to take both into account, does one outweigh the other in the submission? Of course you then have to look at them in context of the other top works.

Colour Theory Samples by Judy Villett

It really opened my eyes to what a judge faces when 150 quilts show up and they are all the cream of the crop. How do you differentiate without bringing your opinion to the table? Looking at a design objectively without know the artist or their intentions. Really studying it to determine what works, then hearing the artist’s statement. Then they take the top contenders and zeroing in on a winner, it can’t be easy!

The Best part of Workshops

One of the best parts of the day was meeting some like-minded artists. Community is so important and building relationships in the industry makes all the difference to a successful business in my opinion. I look forward to meeting up with the ladies I met again at future workshops.

If you are interested in the program you can see more details here: judges-certification-program

You can see what workshops are coming up in the 2018 Conference for CQA which takes place in Vancouver here.

Upset by Rejection as an Artist? Maybe It’s Exactly What you Need.

5 Tips for Dealing with Rejection

Cry a little, have your hissy fit, it’s ok to be upset! It is disappointing to get the rejection letter and as a professional artist, you will receive many of them. Some might feel like it takes a toll on you and steals a little of your soul, but for many, it feeds the fire and drives the grit.

The Call For Entry

You spend loads of time putting together the submission, review the criteria, craft the write-ups, get the best photos to create the best possible impression. You feel great “I’ve got this, they would be crazy not to accept me”. Then you wait, checking your inbox daily and finally, the email finally comes in. Maybe you wait a few minutes to open it, if you don’t open it, you don’t have to be disappointed right? It usually comes in a formulaic way. The introduction “we are absolutely thrilled that you applied to, we certainly appreciate the time and effort...”

The Rejection

Sadly, we totally know what comes next: “Unfortunately, we were not able to, reject, unsuccessful…” And the attempt at softening the blow: “Please understand, more applications than, the decision does not reflect you, we hope you’ll continue to follow…” Does that sound like a break up to anyone else? It’s not you, it’s me, let’s stay friends??? I’ve had my share of these rejections and I dread getting them too.

You feel like – if they had just looked seriously at your application, or maybe you blame the committee, someone on the panel has something personal against you, maybe you decide you were better off not doing it anyway. We tell ourselves all kinds of things to not feel like it was our own fault or a reflection of ourselves and our art. I’ve received many of these over the years, one as recently as last week, they are disheartening, to say the least. But I have the determination to carry on and it just makes me more convicted to stick with it, I won’t let it stop me.

There are many things we can do with a rejection letter (sadly with email – no burning the letters anymore!) Here is my list of the top 5 things I do after being rejected, maybe some will help you get through your own disappointment.

Here’s where you have permission to be upset.

Take a moment to be annoyed, blame, curse, maybe even cry a little. But that’s it. Move on to the next step and don’t linger here very long, it serves no one.

File the email

Don’t keep looking at it. It will say the same thing no matter how many time you go back to it. File it or delete it. It’s not going to do anything else for you.

Re-read your application

With the knowledge of not being accepted, it can help you to look critically at your own submission. This is not to berate yourself, this is to look objectively at what you accomplished in the application. This was no small feat to put this together. You spent time researching, designing and creating the product. Perhaps you did something for the first time like an intro video, uploading to a cloud drive, opening a social media account, finally getting good photos together, writing an artist statement. These are amazing things that you would never have done if you had not taken the leap to apply in the first place and they will help you move forward to the next thing.

Give yourself some credit.

It took guts to put yourself out there. It took courage, confidence, talent and grit. You were one of only thousands or hundreds, you put the time in, you believed in yourself enough to try. That is an amazing thing.

Look for the next call for entry

gallery or show. I’m serious, the more you do this the better you will get at it and eventually, you will get the acceptance letter. For every 20 rejections, you may get one acceptance. Depending on what you are applying for, you may see many more rejections than that. The most successful authors, artists, poets and craftspeople have seen many, many rejections.

If you believe in your work and you are authentic in your vision, you will eventually get there. Talent is part of it, determination, hard work and perseverance are the rest. The journey has many steps and each one leads you to your destination. Some are just a little harder to climb than others, if you really want it, you will keep going, your grit will keep you striving for more.

Your Mission Should you Choose to Accept it…

The Mission Statement

I have spent the last couple of weeks busily planning, mostly in my head. I have been asking myself many questions to come up with a mission statement. I was feeling pretty daunted by this task. The Mission Statement is really important for a business, it defines what the business or artist is trying to achieve. What’s the point of the business? That’s what I have been trying to figure out. Why am I wanting to get back to my art, what am I hoping to achieve? Of course, the easy answer is to make money. But there are lots of ways to make money. The easiest thing to do is to get a job with little responsibility and a pay cheque, why on earth would I want to start up an art business just to make money??!!

So I asked deeper questions. Why do I want to do my art, what is the point, what do I want other people to take away from it? I have been mulling that over. I finally sat down and wrote out a list of questions…. and answered them, in full sentences. It was a really valuable exercise. I then removed all of the questions from the page and was left with just my answers. There is was in front of me. What I hoped to accomplish, for whom, what do I offer that is different, how I would do it and what values did I want to see throughout my business. I started eliminating information that was useful to me, but not anyone else and removed repetitive answers and was left with two concepts to work with.

I put together a few options, refined, asked for opinions from those close to me and landed on a mission statement that I am excited about! So here it is:

[quote style=”boxed”]As a fibre artist, I present compelling images of nature that focus on biodiversity. I use materials from sustainable sources and explore innovative techniques in the fibre art medium. I endeavour to inspire individuals to explore their own vision of the natural world through fibre art.[/quote]

UPDATE Jan 2018: I have since added so much more to the core values I have with my business. You can read more about them on my About page

Identity Crisis: Branding

Branding in Business, it actually matters!

Branding is such a challenge for artists. I have no idea of the number of times I have said ” I know I should really do this and I know it would be helpful” and then cringed at the thought of doing a branding exercise or anything to do with a business plan really and just left it on my “I’ll get around to that… never” list. I know on one hand that I need to take it seriously, but when I look at the questions that are asked, I think it is ridiculous, I know all of the answers and don’t need to waste my time writing them down.But I also realize that I have to give this process a chance, so I spent the last week doing a lot of research. I met with Branding and Logo Designer Auni Milne of Sumac Loft and ended up coming away from our meeting totally inspired and ready to dive into the homework she tasked me with!

Who Am I?

Auni sent me an” artist’s brief”. There were very specific questions like how do I identify with my art? Who is my client(s)? What do I hope they will take away from not only my art but how do they perceive me as an artist? These are all difficult questions that need to be asked. To my surprise, I was at a bit of a loss for words and it took me several days and a lot of consideration to come up with true and reflective answers.It was a real challenge to think about what my business means to me, what my goals are, who is my audience, who are my peers and my competition. Now that I have completed it, I can see how useful it is and that it actually applies to my business plan. Now Auni will take my answers and use her amazing design skills to come up with a brand that represents me and my art. I’m excited!

I Just want to Create Art!

I know how to create my art and I am desperate to get at it again. But, I promised myself that I would take the time I need to do this. I need to know that the intention of my art is being conveyed. Writing down my answers, actually thinking about the words I choose is ultimately really useful when bringing it back around to focusing on my art. When we give ourselves permission to step away from the task of creating art, we can gain insights of the bigger picture, it will translate through all of our decisions. I will apply these concepts back to each piece I do, each show I choose, each competition, each marketing piece.

Your Challenge

I challenge those of you who are embarking on a new business, creating a new piece or starting a new project to take an afternoon: research, brainstorm, write down all the thoughts you have, define your intentions. Ask yourself these questions and see where it takes you on your journey!

Parts of the Plan

The Vision and Mission Statement

The overall business plan, this is such an important step for any small business. These are high-level points, they help define what a business or even just a project is about. I have been going over questions and options that will help me figure out what is driving me to be an artist and how I can get that message across. What do I want to say about my work, and what do I want people to take from it?

Goals and Action Plan

This is a little easier to do, defining concrete realistic goals, along with the pie in the sky – if all the stars aligned goals- to come up with something I can actually and actually want to achieve. Then I get to lay out the plan, what will I do to achieve these goals. Short term and long term, I’m listing the simple tasks like starting a blog as well as lining up gallery shows.

Branding and Logos

I am researching and looking at the myriad of options that are out there for me. It’s a little overwhelming, but I think a very valuable exercise to see what is already out there, to listen to the people who have already blazed trails and to take it all in. I am meeting with a branding and logo designer this weekend. I think this is a really important step that many artists skip for various reasons like I can’t afford it, I already know what I want to do, I’m an artists- I don’t need other people defining me, and on and on. Really I think we all need it, we can’t do everything in our business, we are the experts on our art, we need to acknowledge when we need help. Some of us are able to do and be all of these things, I think that is awesome, but I also think it’s awesome to get feedback and ideas from new sources who see your work from a different perspective- it can’t hurt!

First Steps in the Art Business

It’s worth making a Business Plan!

It has occurred to me that there are others out there who want to start a business with their art, so I thought I would share my journey as I go. Where to start? It’s a big question. I’ll lay out my path for you, take from it what you want and adapt it to your own style, needs and skills. If you have other steps to recommend by all means comment, we can all learn and help each other out!

The Plan

…this is about as dry as it gets, the whole concept of a business plan can make most artists eyes glaze over and the daydreaming start. Even myself, I love planning, love spreadsheets, but having to sift through this is a special kind of torture. But I am determined to work my way through this. It occurred to me that I am likely not the only artist to want to stab my eyes out when thinking of writing proposals and plans, I really just want to create my art! It seems that many artists are in the same boat. I decided to talk to some seasoned artists to see if they did one, all so far have said no, but think that they probably should have. We often launch into our work and are caught up in the art, the feedback we receive, the next commission or show and suddenly find ourselves winging it. This works to some degree, but to get the most out of art as a business, the business side has to come into it at some point. As I step through this process I want to find a more appealing way to look at this side, from the perspective of an artist. I’m devoted to this process no matter how long it will take! I appreciate any feedback you may have to help along the way. Then I will share what I have learned.

Building an Art Business

The Long and Winding Road Back

I’ve realized that the way back is a very twisty and windy road. I have looked back at all of my past posts (five, clearly I am not a blogger!) and they are all about starting again and again… and again. It would seem that I’m not serious about this… but that is not the case! I am realizing that none of this is actually starting again, it is all part of the journey. All parts of my life are connected and will make sense together eventually.

Next Steps

Now I have to figure out how to put those skills into a business plan for my art business. It’s one of the hardest things as an artist. Creating is the fun part, we get feedback on how people feel about our work and usually, it is positive. We live for that!

Having to track inventory, sales, create letterhead and logos, communicating with clients and keeping contact lists is mundane and certainly does not feel creative. But really without a good business/marketing plan, we are winging it and it shows. I had no idea how important this all was early on in my career as an artist. Now that I have had some perspective I can see, it’s essential. So I will embark on this endeavour with excitement for the spreadsheet, create goals and tasks, contact lists, social media streams, and interesting content for my website and utilize systems to streamline all of this. Then I can get to the fun part of creating.

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